My first day at the new camp was alright actually, until I got onto the MRT home. I started thinking about how much different my route to and from camp was, and what it would be like if the other guy had been transferred over instead of me. He lives very near camp, and I had to take three buses to get to camp today. Go figure.
But I guess I shouldn't complain. It's not like I'm being flogged to death there... but it would be good if I were able to stay on at my old camp. I thought that after BMT recourse, I would remain there until ORD. I was wrong, I suppose. But that's life, isn't it? You deal with change, and move on. Well, at least I'm not getting depressed about the new environment, not yet maybe. Previously, everytime I went to a new camp, I'd go through this phase of being really upset about everything. Hope that doesn't happen again.
I used to feel so terrible about everything in NS in the past, and at one point I realised that going for medical appointments, counselling sessions and reporting sick so many times was one of the reasons why. It's a vicious cycle really: you hate it, so you try to escape it; the more you do these things, the worse you feel about it. When I stopped, it got a lot better. I think I owe it to the BMT recourse; it really opened me up and changed my thinking. Perhaps I should have gone through with it the first time around, but thinking about it, I realise I would never change a thing. If I did, I'd never have met those wonderful guys in the recourse. Heh... you know who you are... and I realise that most probably only one of you is reading this. Oh well.
I think my countdown has begun...
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